Soluble

I just found out about "the Cinderella Complex"-

(first off, thank you Tina Dupuy, for sharing this fact about the 1980-90’s with me)

One aspect of the wiki entry got me all shook up. In a bad way. Look what wikipedia has taught me today:

The Cinderella Complex was first described by Colette Dowling^[2], who wrote a book on women’s fear of independence, as an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others, based primarily on a fear of being independent. The complex is said to become more apparent as a person grows older.

Colette Dowling attempts to define women as being motivated by an unconscious desire to be taken care of as a fear of independencetermed “Cinderella Complex”. An importance aspect of the work can be defined as identifying an aspect of a larger phenomenon as to why woman chose to stay in dysfunctional relationships.

This complex is named after the fairy tale character Cinderella, popularized by the Disney movie of the same name. It is based on the idea of women that the story portrays, as being beautiful, graceful and polite but who cannot be strong independent characters themselves (although Cinderella does exhibit independence based on her skills and determination), and who must be rescued by an outside force, usually a man (e.g. the Prince).

Yo, Colette Dowling! I haven’t read your book (and I don’t think I ever will), but by you describing this fear of being alone as “cinderella complex”, I hereby dub you a fucking asshole and a sexist.  I HATE YOU. I want to throw a tantrum, blitzkrieg your house, and eat your liver. Augh. (All better now.)  You name this fear of being alone that you supposedly discovered ”a cinderella complex”? WTF? Would you make fun of female antelope for desiring to be in a group, or a mare? Did you fucking forget that humans are also animals? Very vulnerable animals with no natural weapons like claws or teeth? We don’t even have fucking camouflage like a female duck- we have our smaller size and smaller bone structure. So excuuuuuuuuse me for subconsciously wanting to make sure I know a protector or two. All this negativity about the ladies….. really Dowling. You’re a fucking woman! Why are you so condescending? In nineteen-fucking-eighty-one. A disgrace.

A Cinderella Complex makes more sense regarding the adoptive children, not in why women fear being alone. Last I checked, men fear being alone too….. and the fear increases when they get older? You are such a psychotherapist, Dowling! Really! Look at you, discovering how people get scared of being lonely as they age! Augh. You’re a disgrace. You made a name for yourself by putting the rest of your gender down. Thanks a lot. You are no better than Sasha Grey.

….

This idea was probably the driving force behind the movie Private Benjamin, so I forgive you partially. (But not you, Patriarchy. Oh no.) I’m still angry enough to post 5 fucking pictures of Goldie Hawn. That’s the level of crazy you inspire in me, Dowling.

Goldie Hawn fucking rocks, btw….and Kate Hudson?  GTFO.